Friday, April 4, 2014

Alternative Medical Researchers Nervous Over Prospect of Peak Homunculus.....

Bethesda, MD- Alternative medical researchers at the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) in Bethesda have issued a press release raising concerns over the possibility of peak homunculus, and are calling for a paradigm shift in the approach to discovering new healing modalities.

"This is a big issue in the world of alternative medicine," NCCAM Director Josephine Briggs explained. "The low hanging fruit has been picked when it comes to homunculus based treatments like auricular acupuncture, reflexology and iridology. Frankly, we need some kind of a Sputnik moment if we are going to move forward."

Over the years, a variety of new homunculi have been proposed, such as the now infamous testicular acupuncture map, but these holistic approaches to health have failed to gain a foothold in the marketplace. In 2010, Professor John McLachlan shocked the alternative medical community when he was caught simply making one up. The so-called "butt homunculus" was quickly determined to be a hoax by experts, but not before some damage was done to the reputation of the field.

Actor David Boreanaz with hands in pockets 

But one maverick scientist thinks he may have a solution. Inspired by a freak injury suffered while replacing the engine in his personal vehicle, mechanic Grip Stephens has been working for the past ten years on what he is calling the full body or "Ultimate Homunculus". "What if the evidence of an injury or an illness involving a particular part of the body could just be found by examining it directly, or by testing body fluids or tissue for abnormal levels of something which that part of the body produces or metabolizes? I haven't worked all the details out yet."

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