Naturopathic Nutrition Experts Warn Parents About Halloween Candy Dangers.....

Columbus, OH-Experts from the Columbus Naturopathy Center are warning parents of the dangers that may be waiting for their children on Halloween night, dangers like high-fructose corn syrup, gluten, trans fat, and triglycerides just to name a few.

"We want parents to understand just what risks their children will be facing," Tab Smiley, head Nutritionologist for the center, explained. "These common Halloween candy ingredients are linked to such conditions as childhood obesity, coronary artery disease, diabetes, yeast overgrowth syndrome, and multiple chemical sensitivity."

Smiley recommends that parents go through their children's candy prior to consumption in order to prevent any dangerous nutritional imbalances. The Columbus Naturopathy Center is even offering to perform a complementary panel of standard naturopathic laboratory tests, including saliva yeast testing, hair heavy metal assays, and live blood analysis, to look for any conditions which might put a child at increased risk for dis-ease. "We are also offering discounted acute toxin cleansing over the two days following Halloween!"

Skeptics of naturopathic practice have historically spoken against what they refer to as fear mongering for a quick buck. Smiley, a doctor of naturopathy who trained online under Master Nutritionologists all over Europe and Asia, has dealt with curmudgeonly old skeptics who probably don't know how to truly love or appreciate music or the joy of existence before. "Sure they can quote studies about this or that, but what about newer and more dangerous food toxins like supergluten and extra-high-fructose corn syrup?" 

Unfortunately, despite the efforts of Doctors like Tab Smiley, Nutritionology experts predict that the number of casualties in children participating in Halloween this year will likely be in the millions if not more over the next 70 to 80 years."