Monday, August 25, 2014

Mr. Snuffles, Last Living World War 2 Military Gerbil, has Died.....

Arlington, VA- Mr. Snuffles, the last remaining gerbil employed by United States military during World War 2, has died today at the age of 70.

Mr. Snuffles, shown here behind a bear in 1944, had over one hundred confirmed battlefield kills
"I'll never forget that furry bastard," Stam Costello, an infantryman who stormed the beaches at Normandy alongside Mr. Snuffles as part of the United States Small Mammal division, revealed. "A German soldier had me in his sights and I thought I was a goner. But that desert rat tore clean through the kraut before he knew what hit him."

Mr. Snuffles, who achieved the rank of master sergeant prior to his retirement in 1972, was laid to rest at Arlington Pet Cemetery today with several hundred people and military animals in attendance. This included Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, Army chief of staff, General Ray Odierno, and Cetacean Corps lieutenant colonel Giggles the dolphin. It featured full military honors, including a colors team, riderless horse and 13-gun salute by cannon. A solid gold exercise wheel was presented by General Odierno to Mr. Snuffles' widow and roughly 5,000 sons and daughters.

"In life, he honored this country," Lt. Col. gorilla Georgie Bananas signed to the family. "In death, the country honors him."

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