Friday, January 5, 2018

Where Are They Now?: Celebrity Pet Psychic Loora Finchly.....

Los Angeles, CA- There was a time when internationally known pet psychic Loora Finchly couldn't walk down the street in Los Angeles without being recognized by the pets of the rich and famous. These days, rather than counseling Paris Hilton after an argument with her teacup Pomeranian, Finchly can usually be found sitting in Grand Park talking to squirrels. And not LL Cool J's squirrels either. Just regular squirrels.

A regular squirrel, shown here with nothing particularly interesting at all to say about anything

"I once got a phone call from a dog handler in the Kennedy administration after Pushinka growled at little Caroline," Finchly explained. "Now that dog knew some things, but he made me promise not to tell. It's one of my biggest regrets. Maybe if I had, he wouldn't have been...."

Finchly's gift was put to use by presidents, kings, and Hollywood celebrities. Even NASA called her when Enos, who would become the first chimpanzee in space, kept having nervous diarrhea during training. But the call she remembers most was one she never actually received. "I knew that my star had fallen when the heptapods came in 2016 and they called a linguist...a God damned linguist!"

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