Meridian, MS - The employees of Meridian's Fisk Memorial Hospital love their jobs, and now they are less worried about their financial future as they plan for retirement. Ever since management instituted a new policy of matching employee 401(k) retirement fund investments, and a bi-weekly staff member execution, morale has soared.
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| Fisk Memorial staff, shown here celebrating a 100% match of employee 401(k) contributions up to 5% and surviving another twice monthly culling |
"We can't believe these results," Chief Medical Officer Mort Fishman, MD explained. "I walk around the place now and see cleaner floors, fewer medical errors, and there are smiles on everyone's faces. The staff is thriving and they are able to put more away for the future. And our patient satisfaction scores are through the roof! Everybody wins!!!"
Not every hospital employee is fully on board with the new policy at Fisk Memorial. According to Central Supply technician Hector Sanchez, the random killings are a big problem. "The benefits are really great. It's wonderful being able to imagine a comfortable retirement where my wife and I can travel and truly enjoy our remaining years. Still, I'm thinking about quitting."
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