Anaheim, CA-During an emergency press conference held today inside one of the vessels from the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage attraction, Disney Chairman and CEO Robert Iger announced that the upcoming Disney/Pixar release, The Lion King 4: The Little Merlion Meets Buzz Lightyear, will be released straight-to-video.
"We at Disney feel that this movie is too good, and too important, to be wasted on a theatrical release," Iger explained. "Bringing the entire family to a movie is pretty expensive so going directly to the DVD format for distribution will allow for more people to experience this powerful story of sacrifice and redemption."
Critics across the country are in agreement that The Lion King 4: The Little Merlion Meets Buzz Lightyear might just be the best Disney movie to be released since the January 2008 direct-to-video releases of Tron 2.0 and Bambi Reloaded. Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times said that "The Lion King 4: The Little Merlion Meets Buzz Lightyear is the best movie of the year so far, maybe ever, and will lead even the hardest heart to believe again in the magic of movies."
Showing posts with label Entertainment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Entertainment. Show all posts
Monday, February 18, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
New Beck Album Pushes Musical Envelope.....
Los Angeles, CA-Continuing his streak of innovative creative efforts, musician, singer-songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist Beck announced the release his latest album, Silent Sounds, in an emergency press conference held today in the party room of an area Jump N Jungle family recreation center.
Never shy of venturing into unexplored musical territory, Beck promised that his new collection would be sure to delight his hardcore fans while still enticing novice listeners. The album, which will hit stores on Friday with a purchase price of $19.99, consists of 23 seperate tracks ranging anywhere from two and a half to nine minutes in length that are completely devoid of both music and lyrics.
"Leave it to Beck, easily one of America's most original musical artists, to attempt something so daring," record executive David Geffen explained. "If anyone else put out an album of complete silence, and charged twenty bucks for it, I think that the public would be outraged. But since it's Beck, the idea is completely hip and I wouldn't be suprised if he takes home a few Grammys."
John Travolta, an American actor who had a string of popular television programs and movies in the 70's and 80's, and a brief resurgence in the 90's, is voicing his support for Beck's new record. "I can see this album being very popular with pregnant scientologists," the former celebrity revealed. "My wife would have loved to have had something to listen to during childbirth that didn't violate the principles of our religion."
Travolta, whose 2000 film Battlefield Earth was hailed by Freedom Magazine as "pretty good", even claims to have suggested a similar approach for the soundtrack of the movie. His idea was ultimately rejected by the executive producers, but may have served as an inspiration for Beck. Beck understudied the role of Johnnie Goodboy Tyler, which was eventually portrayed by actor Barry Pepper, who remembers the film as "one of my paychecks in between Saving Private Ryan and Flags of Our Fathers."
"I was actually one of the few people in the crew that supported Travolta on that," supervising sound editor Allen Smithee explained. "I think it would have really improved the quality of the movie. Unfortunately, they also rejected my suggestion that the cameraman leave the lens cap on."
Never shy of venturing into unexplored musical territory, Beck promised that his new collection would be sure to delight his hardcore fans while still enticing novice listeners. The album, which will hit stores on Friday with a purchase price of $19.99, consists of 23 seperate tracks ranging anywhere from two and a half to nine minutes in length that are completely devoid of both music and lyrics.
"Leave it to Beck, easily one of America's most original musical artists, to attempt something so daring," record executive David Geffen explained. "If anyone else put out an album of complete silence, and charged twenty bucks for it, I think that the public would be outraged. But since it's Beck, the idea is completely hip and I wouldn't be suprised if he takes home a few Grammys."
John Travolta, an American actor who had a string of popular television programs and movies in the 70's and 80's, and a brief resurgence in the 90's, is voicing his support for Beck's new record. "I can see this album being very popular with pregnant scientologists," the former celebrity revealed. "My wife would have loved to have had something to listen to during childbirth that didn't violate the principles of our religion."
Travolta, whose 2000 film Battlefield Earth was hailed by Freedom Magazine as "pretty good", even claims to have suggested a similar approach for the soundtrack of the movie. His idea was ultimately rejected by the executive producers, but may have served as an inspiration for Beck. Beck understudied the role of Johnnie Goodboy Tyler, which was eventually portrayed by actor Barry Pepper, who remembers the film as "one of my paychecks in between Saving Private Ryan and Flags of Our Fathers."
"I was actually one of the few people in the crew that supported Travolta on that," supervising sound editor Allen Smithee explained. "I think it would have really improved the quality of the movie. Unfortunately, they also rejected my suggestion that the cameraman leave the lens cap on."
Friday, February 1, 2008
Music Industry Calls for More Heroin Addicts to Work on Their Music.....
New York-As increasing numbers of the elite talents in the music industry are being lost to the ravages of time and mental illness, experts are predicting that the major labels may soon face an insurmountable lack of new singers and songwriters, prompting representatives from the "Big Four" to call for more heroin addicts to work on their music.
At an emergency press conference, held today on the roof of a Manhattan International House of Pancakes, a panel of industry executives urged struggling singer-songwriters to pick up the needle.
"Last year was pretty rough for us," Sony BMG CEO Rolf Schmidt-Holtz explained. "Don Ho and Ike Turner died, American Idol proved useless once again, and Brittney is one buzz cut away from complete psychosis. We are in desperate need of an influx of fresh talent, and historically heroin addiction has played a large role in the maturation process of up and coming artists."
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
New Television Show Stirs Scientific Controversy.....
Chicago, IL- The upcoming premier episode of ABC Television's legal drama "Eli Stone", which is being purported by industry insiders to endorse a link between autism and childhood vaccinations, is stirring up a heated debate amongst scientists, doctors, and anti-vaccination proponents.
The episode features a lawyer, who may or may not be having prophetic visions, involved in a civil suit claiming that a child's autism resulted from the flu vaccine. He argues for the placement of blame to be on the vaccine manufacturer and wins, leading to a large cash award for the child's family and, on the other side of the fourth wall, an angry response from the medical community.
"Perpetuating the myth that vaccines cause autism is irresponsible at best," Emperor Maximus VII, supreme overlord of the alliance of the American Medical Association, Amercian Academy of Pediatrics, and the Pharmaceutical Industry, explained. "If parents watch this program and choose to deny their children the health benefits of routine immunizations, both the offices of the American Broadcasting Company and the streets of Disney World will run red with the blood of my enemies."
These blatant attempts at censorship by the American medical and pharmaceutical establishment aren't being taken lightly by journalist and First Amendment scholar David Kirby, who has fought for years to bring the truth of the connection between mercury from vaccines and autism to the public. "I'm not anti-vaccine. I think vaccines are great for some people in some cases, just not for people who don't want their children to get autism. And I've got a pile of press releases this high to back up my claims."
But what does John Q. Public think? How do regular folks, without the benefit of scientific, medical, or journalistic expertise in the etiology of autism feel about the controversial program. Area Jo-Ann Fabrics manager Stacy Harbst, along with many others, is relieved. "It's nice just to have more options. Working all day, and raising a family, doesn't allow a lot of time to educate myself on important topics like this. I don't know much about autism, or vaccines, but I am happy to know that in addition to Oprah and Parade Magazine, I can now obtain reputable science and health information from a prime time fictional television show."
The episode features a lawyer, who may or may not be having prophetic visions, involved in a civil suit claiming that a child's autism resulted from the flu vaccine. He argues for the placement of blame to be on the vaccine manufacturer and wins, leading to a large cash award for the child's family and, on the other side of the fourth wall, an angry response from the medical community.
"Perpetuating the myth that vaccines cause autism is irresponsible at best," Emperor Maximus VII, supreme overlord of the alliance of the American Medical Association, Amercian Academy of Pediatrics, and the Pharmaceutical Industry, explained. "If parents watch this program and choose to deny their children the health benefits of routine immunizations, both the offices of the American Broadcasting Company and the streets of Disney World will run red with the blood of my enemies."
These blatant attempts at censorship by the American medical and pharmaceutical establishment aren't being taken lightly by journalist and First Amendment scholar David Kirby, who has fought for years to bring the truth of the connection between mercury from vaccines and autism to the public. "I'm not anti-vaccine. I think vaccines are great for some people in some cases, just not for people who don't want their children to get autism. And I've got a pile of press releases this high to back up my claims."
But what does John Q. Public think? How do regular folks, without the benefit of scientific, medical, or journalistic expertise in the etiology of autism feel about the controversial program. Area Jo-Ann Fabrics manager Stacy Harbst, along with many others, is relieved. "It's nice just to have more options. Working all day, and raising a family, doesn't allow a lot of time to educate myself on important topics like this. I don't know much about autism, or vaccines, but I am happy to know that in addition to Oprah and Parade Magazine, I can now obtain reputable science and health information from a prime time fictional television show."
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Box Office Earnings on the Rise in Early '08.....
Hollywood, CA-After a weak fall season, the latest numbers reveal that things may finally be looking up for the movie industry in 2008, with the top 12 movies taking in $123.9 million, up 18.5 percent from the first weekend of 2007.
The biggest suprise of the new year is the continued success of "Juno", an independent film sensation that is delighting critics and moviegoers, and the growing recognition of the career defining performance of Ellen Page as a sassy and pregnant teen. "It's the coolest little success story coming out of 2007," Paul Dergarabedian, president of box office tracker Media By Numbers, explained. "It's playing like a mini-blockbuster right now."
If the trend continues, 2008 may be a year to remember for the industry as well as the public. "The movies coming out right now are amazing," movie buff Tim Cordes revealed. "What I will never understand though is how they know to set the cameras up before all that cool stuff happens."
The biggest suprise of the new year is the continued success of "Juno", an independent film sensation that is delighting critics and moviegoers, and the growing recognition of the career defining performance of Ellen Page as a sassy and pregnant teen. "It's the coolest little success story coming out of 2007," Paul Dergarabedian, president of box office tracker Media By Numbers, explained. "It's playing like a mini-blockbuster right now."
If the trend continues, 2008 may be a year to remember for the industry as well as the public. "The movies coming out right now are amazing," movie buff Tim Cordes revealed. "What I will never understand though is how they know to set the cameras up before all that cool stuff happens."
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Fox Puts Hold on New Reality Show.....
Beverly Hills, CA-In response to the recent tragedy involving the death of a 17-year-old boy after being mauled by an escaped 350-pound tiger at the San Francisco Zoo, Fox television has chosen to withdraw its upcoming special When Tigers Attack VII: Mauled by America from the schedule.
According to a press release from the network, the program, which involves ten untrained adult Siberian tigers, "pits a series of amateur animal trainers against each other in a contest of wits, as well as the will to harness the ferocious nature of both the wild tiger and man, culminating in America choosing which two trainers will face off in the climactic final battle inside the Death Dome. It's time to put your tiger where your mouth is!"
"We at Fox are deeply sorry for the loss of this young man's life and feel that airing When Tigers Attack VII: Mauled by America might be considered by some to be in poor taste," Fox owner Rupert Murdoch explained. "In working to put shape and form on programs at Fox, there will be shows with no outer limits, and the only rules that we will enforce on these programs is they must have taste, they must be engaging, they must be entertaining and they must be original."
Fox executives have narrowed the replacement of When Tigers Attack VII: Mauled by America down to a handful of fine programs:
1. A live action remake of ThunderCats starring real cats with Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of Snarf.
2. The Early Birds: Operation Iraq, an epic mini-series starring Ernest Borgnine as a crotchety former army sergeant who re-enlists and is sent to the northern Iraqi settlement of Qahtaniya. In the process of helping a ragtag bunch of misfits defend the villagers from wave after wave of Al-Qaeda soldiers, he must find a way to forget the past and open his heart.
3. Reruns of When Tigers Attack VI: Who Wants to Marry a Tiger.
4. Temptation Broom Closet
5. Monkey Medium, a thriller about a psychic chimpanzee who teams up with a very skeptical Burt Reynolds to solve a new case each week, with hilarious results. Tony Shalhoub makes an unforgettable guest appearance as a depressed zoo employee with a heart of gold.
According to a press release from the network, the program, which involves ten untrained adult Siberian tigers, "pits a series of amateur animal trainers against each other in a contest of wits, as well as the will to harness the ferocious nature of both the wild tiger and man, culminating in America choosing which two trainers will face off in the climactic final battle inside the Death Dome. It's time to put your tiger where your mouth is!"
"We at Fox are deeply sorry for the loss of this young man's life and feel that airing When Tigers Attack VII: Mauled by America might be considered by some to be in poor taste," Fox owner Rupert Murdoch explained. "In working to put shape and form on programs at Fox, there will be shows with no outer limits, and the only rules that we will enforce on these programs is they must have taste, they must be engaging, they must be entertaining and they must be original."
Fox executives have narrowed the replacement of When Tigers Attack VII: Mauled by America down to a handful of fine programs:
1. A live action remake of ThunderCats starring real cats with Gilbert Gottfried as the voice of Snarf.
2. The Early Birds: Operation Iraq, an epic mini-series starring Ernest Borgnine as a crotchety former army sergeant who re-enlists and is sent to the northern Iraqi settlement of Qahtaniya. In the process of helping a ragtag bunch of misfits defend the villagers from wave after wave of Al-Qaeda soldiers, he must find a way to forget the past and open his heart.
3. Reruns of When Tigers Attack VI: Who Wants to Marry a Tiger.
4. Temptation Broom Closet
5. Monkey Medium, a thriller about a psychic chimpanzee who teams up with a very skeptical Burt Reynolds to solve a new case each week, with hilarious results. Tony Shalhoub makes an unforgettable guest appearance as a depressed zoo employee with a heart of gold.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Spice Girls Named as Suspicious Persons in Lubbock Murder.....
Lubbock, TX-The Spice Girls, a British female pop group that rose to fame last decade selling over 50 million records before going their seperate ways in 2000, have been named today as suspicious persons in the investigation of the murder of a Lubbock family.
"We aren't used to these kinds of horrific crimes in Lubbock," Chief of Police Wayne Payton explained. "We were really at a loss until we heard the news about the Spice Girls."
The news that Detective Payton is referring to was the announcement that the Spice Girl's reunion and world tour had kicked off with a bang in Vancouver on December 2nd, just one day prior to the grisly events in Lubbock.
"There was plenty of time for them to make it to Lubbock, shoot the 7 victims execution-style, dismember their corpses with a machete, cook and eat the victim's genitals, and return to Vancouver for the concert. We don't have a motive yet, but this is just too big of a coincidence to be ignored."
The Spice Girl's have so far refused to comment on these serious allegations.
"We aren't used to these kinds of horrific crimes in Lubbock," Chief of Police Wayne Payton explained. "We were really at a loss until we heard the news about the Spice Girls."
The news that Detective Payton is referring to was the announcement that the Spice Girl's reunion and world tour had kicked off with a bang in Vancouver on December 2nd, just one day prior to the grisly events in Lubbock.
"There was plenty of time for them to make it to Lubbock, shoot the 7 victims execution-style, dismember their corpses with a machete, cook and eat the victim's genitals, and return to Vancouver for the concert. We don't have a motive yet, but this is just too big of a coincidence to be ignored."
The Spice Girl's have so far refused to comment on these serious allegations.
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