|Sergeant First Class Timmy "Tinkle Pot" Abernathy, shown here patriotically soiling himself|
According to Scott, these findings are sure to serve as inspiration for future research. "Now that we know that something is going on here, the next step is figuring out how babies remain impervious to these typically effective means of behavior manipulation. But ultimately we need to know why only babies can do this and if this is something that can be harnessed for the betterment of mankind."
The Pentagon has been aware of this study, and interested in the results, from the beginning. In a recently leaked memo to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Hap Remington wrote "So if we are all in agreement on this, I can have an infant division ready for airdrop into the aforementioned hotspot by the end of the year." The White House however is categorically denying any interest in enlisting infants into the military.