Chicago, IL - The American Dental Association is demanding that all manufacturers of toothpaste products containing fentanyl voluntarily issue an immediate recall.
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| Baby Groot Sampson, shown here in a state of sublime euphoria after using Mommy's Helper brand Toothscrub for Infant Stank Mouth™ |
"Products containing fentanyl have no business being marketed for dental health," ADA president Dr. Cesar Sabates explained. "At best they only mask the symptoms of gum disease and put patients of all ages at risk of severe side effects like respiratory suppression, death, and forgetting to floss daily."
Unlike when an unfortunate clerical error resulted in the substitution of fentanyl for fluoride in several lots of Crest Gum Revitalizing Grill Polish™ in 2016, the ADA is now targeting companies that are intentionally adding the dangerous drug to their products. According to Sabates, the recall demand came only after less aggressive measures, such as denying them an ADA Seal of Acceptance, were unsuccessful. "I actually spoke to a representative from Mommy's Helper about how their product was risky and clinically useless, and do you know what he said? "Who caries?" Who caries? I caries, dammit!"
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