San Francisco, CA - Despite claims by some critics that X, the social media service formally known as Twitter, is hemorrhaging active users after a series of poorly conceived management decisions by chairman Elon Musk, September saw the platform set an all time record in user engagement.
"My critics certainly have some egg on their face right about now," Musk explained. "According to our internal records, X users logged the largest amount of femtoseconds while actively engaging on the platform in September since we started measuring engagement in femtoseconds...in September."
Musk, who first dreamed of creating a popular social media platform as a young child begging for spare change on the grounds of his family's estate in Pretoria, isn't alone in calling out premature declarations of X's demise. According to X CEO Linda Yaccarino, the September numbers validate her efforts since assuming a leadership role in May. "Most people have never even seen a number as large as the number of femtoseconds that X users were actively engaged in whatever it is people do on X. Is it a xeet or a post? All I know is that everything is fine. It's all going to be fine."
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