Brookline, MA - According to an anonymous source at the scene, a pile of dog shit located near the living room couch has entering its second day as tensions rise between members of the Mitchell family.
Stupid dog sociopath Sock Mitchell, shown here clearly proud of what he has done, has a pattern of ignoring societal norms |
"Action needs to be taken," Cleve Mitchell explained. "This didn't just happen. That pile of dog shit has been there since yesterday. It's all dry and crumbly for Christ's sake! No, that shit is from last night...maybe even yesterday afternoon, which is a blatant disregard of the rules established when we got that damn dog."
Lawyers representing 15-year-old Ella Mitchell are questioning her father's forensic analysis of the feces. According to a statement released this morning, an independent expert has concluded that the shit is at most only a few hours old. "Any accusations involving our client Ms. Mitchell, and whether or not she allegedly ignored the pile of canine excrement instead of picking it up and cleaning the tile, are slanderous and will result in legal action."
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