US Soldier Court-Martialed for Eyeballing.....

The Iraq-For the first time in nearly 3o years, a United States soldier will be standing before a military court today to face charges of eyeballing a superior officer.

"It's been a while since the last case," Investigative officer Captain Emil Foley explained. "The current conflict is no picnic and high levels of stress, and the constant fear of death, seems to bring out the worst in some people. Some of these soldiers are just kids, you know."

The Manual for Courts-Martial defines eyeballing as the act of looking directly at a superior officer, particularly during training exercises while in line formation, when use of peripheral vision is preferred. Punishment resulting from a conviction of eyeballing could range from a dock in pay to being skull-fucked to death.