President Bush to Address Nation with Help of Facilitated Communication.....

Washington, DC-As his final term draws to a close, current United States President George W. Bush has announced that he is planning to address the nation in the upcoming months with the assistance of facilitated communication.

Facilitated communication, or FC, is an established method of assisting communication used by people without functional speech secondary to a variety of potential conditions such as autism, mental retardation, brain damage, or cerebral palsy. It involves the help of a facilitator, who supports the hand or arm of the severely handicapped person, thus allowing communication via a computer keyboard or, as will be put to use by Bush, a device consisting of a series of large buttons with pictures of simple words, phrases, and farm animals.

"To be honest, I'm suprised that it took this long for the President to make use of this proven technique," New York University Provost Dirk Ragland, a major proponent of FC, explained. "Finally the public will see that behind the vacant looks and peculiar phrases is a man not hopelessly retarded but who is either normal or perhaps even above normal in intelligence."