Cleveland Clinic Unveils New Integrative Medical Emergency Codes.....

Cleveland, OH- As part of its mission to address an increasing demand for integrative healthcare, Cleveland Clinic's Center for Integrative & Lifestyle Medicine and Center for Functional Medicine have focused on providing hospital patients access to a wide variety of alternative medical practices. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a free lunch in the practice of medicine. In order to deal with the increasing number of unconventional inpatient emergencies, the Cleveland Clinic has announced the immediate institution of a new set of integrative medical emergency codes for hospital use.

Cleveland Clinic tickle therapists, shown here responding to a Code Grump

"It would be foolish to think that expanding our understanding of health and wellness wouldn't come with a price, Delos "Toby" Cosgrove, CEO and President of Cleveland Clinic, explained. "We live on the leading edge of integrating alternative and conventional medicine at the Cleveland Clinic, and once again we are serving as an example for other facilities to follow."

Hospital emergency codes, such as "Code Blue" in the case of respiratory or cardiac arrest, have historically been used to alert hospital staff to current or potential emergencies. Announced over facility loudspeakers or via the use of a paging system, they allow for an efficient and effective response from appropriate people or teams. Cleveland Clinic has instituted a new coverage system to make sure that appropriate alternative medical personnel are available at all times. The following are examples of some of the new integrative medical emergency codes:

1. Code Wobble - Immediate response from Quantum Therapy (QT) for analysis and stabilization of a patient's vibrational imbalance
2. Code Shake and Bake - Immediate response from Homeopathics for evaluation of a patient that has been administered, and is suffering an acute reaction to, an overly succussed remedy
3. Code Accordion - Immediate response from Chiropractic team for stabilization of a patient suffering from Accordion syndrome, or total collapse of the spine secondary to sudden-onset subluxation disorder
4. Code Three Gorges - Immediate response from Acupuncture team for management of a overwhelming or multifocal chi stagnation (MCS)
5. Code Corkscrew - Immediate response from the Lyme Literate physician on-call for confirmation and initiation of IV antibiotics for a patient with chronic Lyme disease

Oregon Traditional Midwives Upgrade to Level 3 Home Births.....

Portland, OR- Home births, while on the rise across the United States, remain a controversial but empowering option for bringing a new baby into the world. Hospital deliveries may allow rapid access to modern medical interventions, but are seen by some as a patriarchal distraction from what matters most, the crafting of an ideal experience. A new breed of health-related non-professionals are helping to bring the two approaches together in Oregon.

A deluxe birthing pond like the one shown here can accommodate a mother, her newborn infant, several large koi, and a small to medium sized dolphin with ease

When Karyn Smith decided to have her first baby in the comfort of her own home, she wanted to make sure that every possible precaution was taken to ensure the safety of her personal narrative, of which she had been the hero for as long as she could remember. She researched the most popular home delivery blogs, hired a human doula, and had a birthing pond dug in the backyard in preparation for her big day. She even updated her Facebook profile regularly throughout the process. Finally, she joined a growing number of Oregon women choosing to have their social currency payloads delivered with the assistance of an advanced, or level 3, traditional midwife.

"Going with a level 3 midwife just made the most sense," Smith explained. "They are trained to manage pregnancy and delivery complications in ways that preserve the sanctity of a mother's experience, and none of my friends have used one yet. That's important to me, and it will be important to my followers on Instagram."

Level 3 traditional midwives are not licensed by the state of Oregon, and are not allowed to provide oxygen or IV medications. But they make up for any deficiencies in training or the ability to prevent maternal or perinatal mortality by offering advanced experience-supportive measures in the case of an emergency, such as hiring a live band to accompany the second of labor or providing an assortment of delicious chocolates. According to Joan Odenkirk, an advanced traditional midwife who completed some high school and has watched several deliveries in person and on YouTube. "It usually works out great!"