Friday, December 23, 2022

Elon Musk Announces Large Personal Investment in Precision Medicine.....

Boca Chica, TX - During a press conference held today at the SpaceX Starbase in Boca Chica, business magnate and investor Elon Musk announced that he has purchased a unique cancer drug developed through precision medicine to target specific genetic mutations in the brain tumor of a 7-year-old child from Austin.

Musk, shown here celebrating the acquisition of "Tyler's Cure", will likely store the one-of-a-kind cancer therapy on a display shelf in one of his homes but he hasn't really decided yet

"This is an amazing advance in pediatric cancer treatment," Musk explained while gently tossing the bag of bespoke chemotherapy back and forth from one hand to the other. "This drug literally doesn't exist anywhere else in the universe, can't be easily replicated, and it's mine...it's all mine."

Precision medicine, considered by many experts to be the future of personalized treatment of a wide range of diseases, takes into account the genetic differences of each patient. According to Mort Fishman, the pediatric oncologist at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital who led the team that developed the highly specific drug cocktail to treat Tyler's cancer, the past two decades have seen incredible progress. "We were able to determine the unique genetic features of his tumor so that they could be targeted in a way that would improve his chance of survival and reduce his exposure to risky treatments that would have been unlikely to help...until Musk decided he had to have it."

Like most young children with a terminal illness, Tyler still focuses on the positive things in life, like his favorite soccer star finally winning a World Cup championship or when his nausea eases just enough to try a spoonful of chocolate pudding. Tyler, who is believed to have twelve to fifteen months to live without access to this revolutionary drug therapy, still believes that all people have goodness in them, even if sometimes it is hidden deep in their hearts. "I guess Mr. Musk needs my medicine more than me. I hope it makes him happy. I'm really tired. I'm just so tired."

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