Friday, March 24, 2023

House Republicans Look to Relax Food Labeling Restrictions to Reduce Childhood Hunger.....

Pawtucket, RI - Long known to be non-toxic, the popular and kid friendly modeling clay Play-Doh is now beginning to be recognized by lawmakers as a nutritious food alternative that may help fight childhood hunger.

2-year-old Frank Garabedian, shown here enjoying a bite of Play-Doh Feedables® food replacement modeling clay

"In today's economy, and with so many people suffering because of Biden's failed woke policies, it's nice to know that not only is Play-Doh safe to eat but it's also good for growing children," Republican Congressman Paul Gosar explained. "The exact composition of Play-Doh is a tightly kept secret but we're pretty sure that it's mostly wheat flour and water, and one serving, or about half a can, contains 100% of a child's recommended daily intake of salt, borax, and hardening agents."

Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks isn't surprised by the growing acceptance from the nutrition community, and not just because its a great source of the often neglected kerosene/petroleum distillate food group. "Many people don't realize that Play-Doh was first developed as a non-meat, non-vegetable, non-dessert TV dinner side dish. While parents were eating the stuff their kids were playing with it! And then the corrupt FDA got involved. Well who's laughing now?"

Across the nation, more and more schools are starting to offer this wholesome and traditional family friendly food substitute as a surprisingly filling snack in lunch rooms and vending machines. According to Cocks, in order to reach more non-traditional Play-Doh consumers, Hasbro is also working on plans to produce an organic version that is made without the use of scary sounding words. "There is really no limit to the possibilities once those draconian regulations are relaxed. Baby food? Of course. What about pets? Hell yeah!"

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