Baton Rouge, LA - Democrats and Republicans in the Louisiana Senate are set to debate a controversial proposal that would effectively ban veterinarians in the state from providing gender affirming care for puppies.
 |
| A Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog puppy just prior to being groomed by a transgender dog groomer |
"I believe that the Bible should dictate how we manage gender dysphoria in dogs," local Christian veterinarian Breffany Biscuit explained. "The Bible reveals God's wisdom with all things, be they the management of heartworms in a 9-year-old Havapoo, how to remove a sock from a chocolate Lab's distal colon, and how puppies that become confused at liberal dog parks should just accept the gender they were assigned at birth."
This is not the only potential new law being discussed during the current legislative session that is raising concerns among the state's more liberal demographic. Louisiana transgender human Melvie Butterstone, one of almost a hundred transgender humans in the state, is worried that religious conservatives are trying erase the existence of an entire group of animals:
It isn't just puppies. Louisiana black bears, pine snakes, alligators, pearl shells, and even red-cockaded woodpeckers that don't fit into the heteronormative paradigm are all facing potential hardships should the current slate of anti-LGBTQ animal bills reach Governor Edwards' desk.
 |
| Republican state senator Beth Mizell, a cisgender human (she/her) from Franklinton who was once licked at a Hobby Lobby by a male Golden Retriever posing as a female Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, is shown here demonstrating just how far up she has had it with gay dogs shoving their business and noses in the crotches of the good people of Louisiana |
If enacted, the proposed legislation would make surgical gender reassignment in underage dogs illegal in Louisiana. Other provisions would put restrictions on the use of puppy puberty blockers and require six months of therapy with a certified dog whisperer or pet psychic before owners are allowed to put their younger dogs in a gender nonconforming outfit, especially a sassy rainbow bow-tie, during Mardi Gras. And don't even get them started on Canine Pride Month, because they've had it up to here with all the gay stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment