Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Doctors Stumped by New Study Proving Effectiveness of Homeopathy.....

Hartford, CT-A groundbreaking new study of the effectiveness of homeopathic remedies on a variety of illnesses is calling into question over a hundred years of medical progress and the scientific method in general.
Maximus VII, Supreme Overlord of the Medical-Industrial Complex, shown here covering up a natural testosterone replacement
The study, which involved a telephone survey of patients of registered homeopaths across the nation, asked such probing questions as "How Wonderful is Homeopathy? 1. A little wonderful 2. A lot wonderful 3. Extremely wonderful." More than eleven participant responses were included and the results were statistically and emotionally significant. It was published in the Scientific Journal of Homeopathic Science, a peer reviewed journal and Twitter account.

The latest in a string of high profile studies proving the effectiveness of a variety of alternative therapies, such as the use of aromatherapy for prolonged QT syndrome and rolfing for multiple endocrine neoplasia Type III, the study has sent the medical community into a tailspin. Maximus VII, current Supreme Overlord of the Medical-Industrial Complex, has already initiated damage control measures.

"We've been concerned about the mounting evidence for the use of non-conventional therapies such as therapeutic touch and coffee enemas for a while," Maximus VII announced during a press conference held today at the Medical-Industrial Complex secret headquarters on Skull Island. "We do have a contingency plan."

Maximus went on to reveal that starting today, conventional medical doctors will no longer be providing healthcare and will instead focus purely on the more lucrative lifestyle and cosmetic concerns. "The chiropractors, faith healers and integrative quantum priestesses pretty much have things under control now. So we are going to focus our efforts on providing quality pharmaceutical options for flaccid bald men and wrinkled soccer moms."

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