East Aurora, NY- Fisher-Price, a company known mostly for producing toys for infants and younger children, has announced today that the second phase of their Smart Stages line of educational toys will be initiated at some point in the next five to ten years, but likely when the world's governing bodies least expect it.
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| Future foot soldier in the now unavoidable battle for world domination, shown here learning lethal points on the human body and his ABCs |
"Toys that incorporate Smart Stages technology adapt to the age of the child as they grow," Bryan Stockton, Supreme Emperor and CEO of Fisher-Price's parent company Mattel, explains. "A 6-month-old is very hands on, learning by doing rather than by following instructions. But a year later, that same child will use their imagination during play and can follow simple and direct commands. At that point they belong to me. This I command!"
Fisher-Price scientists and medical consultants, like evil developmental pediatrician Dr. Mort Fishman, have designed the advanced Smart Stages levels with the unique biopsychosocial milieu of the typical American teenager in mind. And they are confident that parents will see the benefits. "After the dust has settled, and any pitiful resistance efforts eradicated, those loyal to us will be rewarded."
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