Washington, D.C. - NASA scientists have published a paper explaining the reason that we haven't been visited by any advanced alien civilizations -- they are all idiots.
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| Complete shit for brains Supreme Galactic Overlord Zorg XII, shown here clicking on the link in an email from Amazon.info.ru about his account being suspended |
"These civilizations, if they exist, are all incredibly stupid," NASA Administrator Bill Nelson explained. "The universe is vast and it would be foolish to assume that it isn't overflowing with alien morons that haven't evolved to a point where they can fly a kite, let alone a highly advanced interstellar craft capable of travelling at speeds approaching light. Dumbasses."
The research team, which is based at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Southern California, hypothesizes that in addition to being a bunch of imbeciles that think a parsec is a unit of time, alien life throughout the cosmos also probably thinks a hyperdrive is a propulsion system that forgot to take its Ritalin. According to JPL Director Dr. Lauri Leshin, we shouldn't underestimate just how dumb the aliens species out there are. "We don't know if these fuckwads even have a brain architecture remotely similar to ours, but they almost certainly wouldn't have two neurons to rub together between all of them."
1 comment:
New candidate for best photo caption ever? The story was great too!
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