Republican Scientists Raise Concerns of Interference in Research from George Soros.....

Washington, D.C. - Republican scientists, from conservative cosmologists to radical right radiogeologists, are blaming the Hungarian-American businessman and philanthropist George Soros on a number of failed experiments over the past several years.

Republican Gill Hickey, shown here inspecting his car engine after it was clearly messed with by the Soros Foundation in order to make him late for picking up his kids from their mother's place for his one weekend a month

"It was an eloquently designed study of the relationship between one-dimensional quantum entities called strings and the dangerous open border policy put in place by Biden and his handlers," theoretical physicist Rick Belch explained. "The only explanation for its failure that makes any sense is that George Soros and a cabal of Zionist elites rigged my equipment in order to get me cancelled in the scientific community. That's also why he put those deepfakes of Emma Watson on my laptop!"

Not all Republican scientists are buying into fears that George Soros is personally sabotaging their research as part of his scheme to implement a totalitarian world government. Some, like ultraconservative urbanologist and Constitutional Researchers and Lab Workers Association president Leak Sidesaddle, worry that conspiracy theories involving the Holocaust surviving hedge fund manager are a distraction. "At the end of the day, this is America. And in America the Freemasons don't just reject republican values, they also convinced my university to reject my research proposal that cities are the physical manifestation of Satan."