Missing Bees Found in Georgia Man's Garage.....

Augusta, GA-After over a year of intense debate, and a number of red herrings, the missing honey bees that have threatened the food supply for the entire nation were finally discovered today in the garage of Augusta, GA resident Richard Lombards.

"This is an amazing disovery, and one that has a lot of farmers around this country breathing a sigh of relief," Apiologist Tom Wadlington explained. "We had been focusing on infectious etiologies up till now although a number of alternative explanations had been proposed such as the bee rapture, cell phones and alien abduction. Nobody saw this coming."

Mr. Lombards was taken into custody by a federal beekeeping task force soon after the massive swarm of bees, estimated to be several million in number, was located. Prior to this departure he revealed "I swear I don't know how those bees got in the garage. I was in here like 5 minutes ago and the place was empty." A number of jars of homemade honey were found at the scene.

A curious history of Lombard's involvement with bees has already begun to emerge and it has come to light that he was once spurned by the admissions committee of a number of apiary training programs for poor grades and a prior felony arrest for bee trafficking. Mr. Lombards faces very serious charges of beenapping, which could result in a long prison sentence. He will be represented by Harry Winston, the defense attorney in a number of high profile missing animal cases in the past.

Class Nerd Really a Knockout.....

Savannah,Georgia- Classmates of Becky Belval were shocked this morning when the previously awkward and unpopular Chess Club president arrived having become the most beautiful girl in the school, certain to win the Homecoming Queen election in which she had been entered as a joke.

"This whole year I've had this crush on Brad, the arrogant captain of the football team, but I've been shy and he hasn't noticed me," the now radiant Belval explained. "But now I've realized that it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, or how popular you are. All that really matters is what's on the inside."

After the intial wave of excitement set off by Ms. Belval's transformation into a super sexy and confident vision of beauty by simply removing her glasses and letting her hair down, senior Brad Remington remarked "Dude, I'm totally going to nail that chick at prom! Unless the goofy nerd that's been in love with her since they were kids figures out some way to foil my plan."