Washington, D.C. - As part of a commitment to promoting wholesome educational programming for Americans, the Republican led Media Matters caucus is proposing a new bill that will ensconce Blue Bloods as a permanent fixture in the CBS Friday night programming lineup.
"There is an epidemic of woke in America today," House leader Kevin McCarthy explained from the inside of fellow congressperson Matt Gaetz's distal colon. "Blue Bloods teaches respect for our boys in blue, for family and conservative values, for faith, and also respect for our boys in blue. I said that one already? Really? Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. That's for the voters to decide."
Blue Bloods, a police procedural series currently in its 13th season, is already the longest running crime drama in CBS history. According to McCarthy, the legislation is one of several so-called "blue bills" supporting police that are planned for the current session of Congress and would mark the first time that the United States government has interfered with the program scheduling of a major television network. "The senate is a bit of a long shot considering Schumer's obsession with Law & Order. The TV show, not the concept."
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