Disgruntled Former McDonald's Spokesman Makes Comeback.....

Garden City, ID-Former McDonald's spokesman Grimace, out of the public eye for years and rumored to have died of complications from his morbid obesity, has emerged, 200 pounds lighter and starring in a one-man play based on his life.

"It's taken a lot of time, some intense psychotherapy, and gastric bypass surgery to get me where I am today," the now svelte Grimace explained. "I'm not going to dwell on the past though. This is my chance to make a fresh start and a new name for myself."

Grimace's performance, The Milkshake Monologues, can be seen at the Garden City Rumpus Room all week and promises to clear up a lot of misconceptions about his life, in particular the rumors of his off-set romance with Birdie the Early Bird. "I had really hit rock bottom. I remember once when Ronald walked in on me snorting strawberry milkshake off of Birdie's stomach. It wasn't pretty. It's all in the show."