Wednesday, January 11, 2023

White House Announces Executive Order to Tackle American Burnout.....

Washington, D.C. - In an effort to help reduce unprecedented levels of burnout, President Biden has announced that he will sign an executive order on Monday that will establish the third week of January as National Wellness Week.

All Americans will receive one of three possible hand painted motivational rocks during National Wellness Week

"Americans have faced an unprecedented amount of social and physical stress over the past several years," Surgeon General Vivek Murthy explained. "This has overwhelmed our collective adaptive capabilities and more of us are becoming emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted every day. This ends now." 

Throughout the week, Americans can take advantage of a number of activities and giveaways that are designed to show them just how much they are appreciated by their government. According to Dr. Murthy, this could include a free 15-minute massage or a coupon for a complementary sundae at all cafeterias, but National Wellness Week is about much more than just free ice cream and back rubs. "You will also receive a free plastic water bottle that says 'America Loves You!' on the side. And be sure to check in front of the entrance to your house or apartment for rocks hand painted by White House staff with affirmations to help you make it through the day."

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