Butte, MT-Three-day-old infant Chance Wolters was named by hospital staff of St. James Community Hospital as "The World's Cutest Baby" this morning prior to his discharge home.
"I just can't believe it. I mean what an honor," Cindy Wolters, the child's mother explained. "And what a responsibility. I think that we owe it to Chance to make use of his gift. Maybe baby modeling or infant beauty pageants."
"Yeah, it's kind of sad. She keeps showing everyone the certificate and talking about the burden of beauty on such a young child," Nurse Roshandra Lewis revealed. "We give them to all the families. The sad thing is it's such an ugly baby. Somebody should tell her."
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Children's Hospital Purchased by McDonald's.....
Nashville, TN-Setting an unusual precedent, Vanderbilt Children's Hospital was purchased today by the McDonald's Corporation. Ronald McDonald himself was present at the press conference.
"This is sure to be only the beginning of a new age of competition between the burger giants," Chief of Staff Kevin Churchwell remarked. "Burger King put in a decent bid but McDonald's just had more to offer. I like the Whopper better than the Big Mac but McDonald's fries are better. That's important to me and it's important to my patients."
Cody Carpenter, third year resident at the Children's Hospital, is excited about the transition. "There are going to be some bumps in the road, especially with the new drive through emergency department, but this is what's best for the children. And I get free Happy Meals."
"This is sure to be only the beginning of a new age of competition between the burger giants," Chief of Staff Kevin Churchwell remarked. "Burger King put in a decent bid but McDonald's just had more to offer. I like the Whopper better than the Big Mac but McDonald's fries are better. That's important to me and it's important to my patients."
Cody Carpenter, third year resident at the Children's Hospital, is excited about the transition. "There are going to be some bumps in the road, especially with the new drive through emergency department, but this is what's best for the children. And I get free Happy Meals."
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Sharp Increase in Naked, Toothless Patients.....
Norfolk, VA-Kimberly Rand, a rising junior at Maury High School, revealed today in a Summer School discussion group how she has witnessed a number of strange and disturbing things while volunteering at Norfolk's Children's Hospital of The King's Daughters.
"There is this one ward where all of the patients must have had some kind of stroke or maybe they're really retarded," Ms. Rand explains. "They all like can't talk and have to wear diapers and stuff. They can't even eat regular food or anything because they don't have teeth. It's just really unsettling."
Dr. Maureen Maxcy, pediatric intern at King's Daughters, has also gone on record with her concerns over the rising numbers of these mysterious patients. "Sometimes in one day I admit like ten of them, which I think are shrunken old men or something. Where are they coming from? Why are they all naked? Hopefully my coming forward will lead to some kind of investigation."
"There is this one ward where all of the patients must have had some kind of stroke or maybe they're really retarded," Ms. Rand explains. "They all like can't talk and have to wear diapers and stuff. They can't even eat regular food or anything because they don't have teeth. It's just really unsettling."
Dr. Maureen Maxcy, pediatric intern at King's Daughters, has also gone on record with her concerns over the rising numbers of these mysterious patients. "Sometimes in one day I admit like ten of them, which I think are shrunken old men or something. Where are they coming from? Why are they all naked? Hopefully my coming forward will lead to some kind of investigation."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
